escapesanddiaries
A letter to my ex-boyfriend. I never got to send
Love & Life Relationship

A letter to my ex-boyfriend. I never got to send

I wrote this letter to my ex-boyfriend, but I never sent it for reasons. First, probably because I didn’t feel that I need to. Second, he didn’t have to know about my feelings toward our breakup. And finally, it’s only in my thoughts that I pondered I needed to put down.

Dear ex boyfriend,

How are you? Hope is well with you.

I wrote this letter after we decided to stop communicating and already considered you as my ex-boyfriend, but I never sent it. The last message you sent me was you’d block me on Viber, so we would completely stop getting in touch.

I’m sorry if I didn’t have the courage to be honest about why I suddenly backed out of our supposedly second chance. A second chance that never was. At the same time, I finally found the one thing I had been waiting for all my life.

We were aware that things weren’t painless for us.  Long-distance relationships sucked even if we tried to ignore the sentiments a hundred times.

I didn’t wish for our love story to be like a novel. The odds weren’t in our favor, so to speak.

Every love story is different. I would lie if I’d say I didn’t like ours. It was one of my most favorite things to date. It even came to the point that it hurt me because I didn’t have full anticipation of the whole situation.

But I realized that when everything ended between us, there’s a new beginning. We are always meant for something better.

A letter to my ex-boyfriend, dear, our love can’t save it all.

Before we completely parted ways, you asked me if you were less, and although I avoided disheartening you, at least I wanted you to know that you were.

Things can be saccharine sometimes, and other times can be hard to deal with. Even so, I hope you carry no bitterness in your heart. I hope you understand that things aren’t how we wanted them.

Hurting you was the last thing I wanted to do. You knew I loved you with all my heart even if I knew you weren’t willing to give me enough. Even if you weren’t ready to exert the effort to give me more than what I deserved. And even if you gave me less than what I expected.

Probably I might have been too clingy. I demanded too much of your time and attention which you were able to give me unconditionally. On the other hand, during the hardest times, you weren’t ready to uplift me that ballooned the worst month of my life.  

But I settled and thought, “Hey, that’s alright, nobody’s perfect; he can’t have it all.” If he’s supporting me with my imaginary unconditional love and time, then I shouldn’t ask for more. But I figured that sometimes, we need not only the care but also something more than that.

I never had bad blood toward you despite everything that happened. I just wish that you were someone I could cry and lean on, someone who would always have my back whatever happened. But you never were.

Nevertheless, I loved you, accepted all your flaws, and I was happy I did.

I never sent you any physical letters. But it didn’t matter after all. Our relationship was not a failure; it just wasn’t meant to last forever. We belong to someone else. Someone we can be much happier with through the roller coaster ride of our lives. Someone who can accept us and help us grow. 

I apologize. I have to put everything down in a letter to the ex-boyfriend I once treasured most but never had the courage to send.

My biggest wish for you is I hope you learn more, grow up and be a more responsible individual in all aspects of your life. I also wish you become mature enough to nurture every relationship you’ll ever have with that one woman you’ll hold in your arms. Wipe her tears away when she cries and support her in everything she might need without judgment and questioning.

Above all, I hope you learn to breathe, constantly battle and thirst for a new adventure to gain more life experiences without others’ copious help. That’s certainly beautiful.

I never regret meeting you and accepting you in my life. You brought happiness to my world. Even if we’re not together anymore, I still want the best for you. A new beginning for a brand new you. I hope you have more fun and find happiness even if there are no reasons to be happy.

Life has limitless opportunities. Past romance cannot be replaced and forgotten easily. Nevertheless, the next chapter can be more meaningful. Believe that we will always find a way if we have the will. It will always work out. Stay positive and cool, like you always are.



Thank you. If it weren’t for all the things from the past with you, I wouldn’t be here, happier than ever before. 

I would still like to see you again, probably bump into each other on this small planet. It is not because I still love you and miss you, but because I want to thank you personally and drain all the bad blood (if there is). I thank you for everything. For all the good and bad memories, fun and gaga moments, and for bringing out the new version of myself. Thank you for the difficult emotions, the dances, and the music you brought to me.

This letter I wrote to you as my ex-boyfriend that I never really sent was just proof that some words don’t really come out of me naturally.

But here’s my one last wish: be a man. A real man. Keep digging that new version of manhood in you. Keep unfolding life’s mystery and have more fun. The world is waiting for you to hold. Don’t be afraid and get out of your comfort zone to see what’s truly beautiful out there. I know you’ve been extremely privileged in all aspects but learn to sludge your hands, it will be okay. It will be fun. All the luck in the world. You’ve been a great part of my life. 

I’m glad a letter had been invented and I want you to know, I am so much happier and carefree now. 

If you are reading this, I genuinely wish you nothing but peace and pure happiness in your heart. 

P.S.

Belated Happy 30th Birthday.

Although this letter to my ex-boyfriend I never sent, by all means, I’m certain in some way, he might have read it.

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3 Comments

  • Medha Verma Bector
    October 22, 2017 at 04:19

    Relationships are meaningful only when you can be there for each other during the times you need each other the most. Nobody can be perfect, I know, but I guess the key requirement for us all is to have that one person there, at THAT moment when you need someone. x

  • Lydia Smith
    October 22, 2017 at 07:21

    That was something! Been in a Long Distance Relationship before and I bet it disnt last 2 months. I don’t see myself in another one, NEVER. I guess I need to stick around the blog to read more of this. It was a interesting read. Smiling all through. You’ve got great use of words.

  • megan_claire
    October 22, 2017 at 07:31

    I love that you can look back at your past relationships as not a failure, but what you needed at the time, and then the tme came to move on. Nothing is meant to last forever and everything, relationships included have an expiry date at some point. Some are longer than others. I feel your pain on how difficult long distance relationships are – my husband and I dated long distance for 2 years. Sometimes I wonder how we did it! Congrats on your positive perspective on life and being happier than you ever have been.

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